zero2sixtyin9

I can’t believe how far I’ve come in such a short time. I completely amazed myself this holiday season. Myself and all of my friends. It feels good to hear, “man, I wish I had your willpower!” I don’t know if I had to hit my rock bottom to be where I am at today, but boy I feel great. And I am damn proud of Duane and I.

It started with my birthday, December 23rd. We got home from shopping and Duane made me stay in our bedroom for a few minutes. I didn’t really get what was going on… I mean, we are married, so there wasn’t a proposal coming. Money’s tight, so I didn’t think some huge gift was coming (which is cool, because if you know me then you know I am a tightwad!)…so I was really curious as to what was about to happen. And as he called my name to come out, the sweetest most thoughtful scene lay before my eyes: the room was completely dark, and there, in 3 mini cupcakes (worth a total of 1 ww point!) were lit candles, along with a 1/2 point fudgesicle cut into pieces. Duane had given me a 1 1/2 point birthday cake and icecream celebration : ) Cheesy to some, but it meant a lot to me knowing how much thought had to go into making something so low in points. And it tasted wonderful, which didn’t hurt either. : )

Fast forward to Christmas (2 days later). We ended up having ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots and dip, a glass of wine, and 1 1/2 crescents each. All made well within our point range for the day. The same thing followed for New Year’s eve. We went over to my friend’s house and took our fair share of food, all well within our point range - shrimp with cocktail sauce, ham rollups, and a huge salad…I even had 2 brownies with cheesecake frosting! Like I said, I don’t know if it’s because I hit my rock bottom of feeling bad and being overweight, but I have no urge to ‘cheat’, I don’t feel deprived, and I want to continue this forever because I simply feel amazing. I do truly believe the day Duane said he couldn’t do it anymore and was going back on WW (which he did NOT even mention/push for me to do it with him - I just knew in my heart I needed to as well) …was the day he saved my life.

This is not to say that there have not been bumps along the way. The first few days of starting WW I felt horrible, probably due to the fact that I ate horribly before and my body was in withdrawal. Also, I first tried giving up pop completely, but found that if you like it as much as I do, the caffeine withdrawal actually makes you sick. So after a few days of adjusting and drinking some diet pop, I got this feeling which is hard to describe. I feel good, great actually, and I know that I never again want to go back to eating the way I used to. I know that eating junk never felt even half as good as taking care of myself and eating the right way do.

Also, it is always hard when Duane and I lose weight, because he loses a TON more than me and people always notice his weight loss and not mine. This time I decided that no matter what, I would not get upset about this and would support and encourage him with all my heart and soul.

However…at his Christmas party it happened. Duane’s coworked said, “Duane looks amazing!” (He kept going on and on, which was fine because Duane does look amazing and I am soooooooooo proud of him.) And then he said the unthinkable: “Are you gonna diet too?” Hmmmph. The old me would have beat the crap out of him. How dare he??!?! At that point in time we had lost the same amount of weight. And I have less to lose, which should have made mine more noticeable.  (Update:  I’ve lost 13 pounds since the 2nd week of December!)

But alas, my new feeling-good-self just smiled and shrugged my shoulders and walked away. I am proud of Duane and proud of myself and don’t need anyone to confirm that or make me feel negative about it in anyway. Wow. Does that mean I have finally grown up?? ; )