zero2sixtyin9

So, again, another 2 pound weight loss this week. I shouldn’t be all that devastated. It is, in fact, a loss. Poor Duane, he didn’t lose anything. Zip, zero, nada. And we both within the last week or so have hit a lower weight range, equaling less points (and food) per day. He was totally bummed to have made that sacrifice and not lost a measly pound. I felt sad for him. But…he has lost a total of 24 pounds, which I was quick to remind him that he is doing awesome and would this be real life if there weren’t some speed bumps along the way? I think of myself as a little snail, slow and steady (which I hope wins the race!!). I am at 19 pounds, which if I had it my way, would have been 25 by the end of the month (at this point, let’s be honest - not gonna happen). I wanted so so bad just to lose 3 this week and be at a total 20 pound weight loss. Alas, there’s always next week.

So my friend Meigan is on here, which is awesome. It helps to have someone who has known you for a bazillion years to help cheer you on. (Below, for your entertainment, is a picture of Meigan (left) and me (right) when we went to Colorado for spring break during our senior year in high school. Sorry Meigan, that I didn’t ask you first before posting it!!! Two things I am wondering: First of all, I remember thinking I was like, OBESE, back then (people teased me for like, my entire life, in school for being fat!) And now that I look back, I wish I knew then what I know now…I was not fat! And second, what the hell is going on with my hair color??? Lol… Meigan, warn a sister next time I make that bad of a hair judgement! On another note, man was that was a fun trip!!! : )

Anyway, Meigan recently spoke of getting a Gazelle Edge, which got my attention. I have been contemplating one, but have read mixed reviews. Based on what she told me, the reviews, and my own conclusion, Duane and I finally went out and bought one the other night. A lot of people complain that they are low-impact. My theory is this: I can either lay on my butt and watch tv or get up and actually move (because some movement is better than no movement) while I watch the tv. I have promised myself to do it for at least an hour a day. We’ll see how that goes. Maybe it’ll push me to a 3 pound weight loss next week? And for all of the naysayers out there…I think the exercise is what you make it. I experimented on there, and while it doesn’t make me sweat or get breathless, when done a certain way, it can really work your muscles! Again, some exercise is way better than none! Especially when I don’t feel like going to the gym. Before it was, well, it’s cold outside and I don’t want to go. Now it’s, well it’s cold so I’ll just do some more on the Gazelle. Ahhh…I’m tricking myself into exercise…sneaky. Lol.

We also bought those new push-up bars. Thought it would make push-ups easier, since I have zero upper-body strength. Let me start out by saying I had a very brief stint in Air Force ROTC in college and at that time I could do 44 push-ups in less than a minute. Wow. Yep, that’s 44, real, manly push-ups. I tried to do one (ONE) last night and boy if I didn’t almost fall flat on my face as my poor flacid muscles quivered beneath me. LOL. (Embarrassing!) We’ll keep working on that one.

The debt mission is going well. Duane is shocked by the people here. I guess everyone he knows already has their tax returns ’spent’. Not so smart kiddies. Duane’s previous company that he worked for (in Ohio) made a brutal tax error last year as we moved here, but it was so small a paycheck we never caught onto it (and we are VERY diligent about our money, taxes, etc.) Long story short, we had to pay over a THOUSAND dollars in taxes last year. Say it with me kids…OUCH!! So now we pay extra money a paycheck *just in case* and never, Never, NEVER count on a return. Duane wants our return (if we get one) to be for a vacation. I want to pay off a bill or two. Boy, we are so different, it’s awful. He thinks we should be rewarded for hard work and have some fun occasionally. Thanks to being brought up with depression-era, frugal grandparents, I feel that we should (as Duane would put it) “suffer” until the debt is gone, then have a little fun. Not that we don’t ever have any fun right now, but the reigns are definitely tight. No vacations in the near future. No shopping sprees. Heck, I would be excited to go out and not think twice about buying clothes at this point. But I am cursed. I can never buy anything without thoroughly thinking it through. I am the type (thanks Gram and Grandpa) that feels panicky about spending any money, almost guilty. Especially with the debt we are in. Some would say that is a good thing. Duane would say I am a “tightwad”, lol.

Hope everyone has a good week. Hang in there. We can do this.

Another 2 pounds, another 2 pounds…  My weight loss is sooooooooo predictable.  I am craving some spontaneity, like maybe a 6 pound loss this week (lol..yeah right!).  Sounds superb to me!

So I am feeling happy and a little sad all at once today.  Is that possible?  Or just plain crazy?

Duane called and wanted me to pick up sushi and join him for lunch today.  As I was getting ready to go, I decided to do something brave…I have this 1 pair of jeans that I have been wearing FOREVER (because as I grew bigger, I had to buy new clothes to fit me, so I would buy 1 pair of jeans at a time thinking it was only temporary).  Well, those jeans are getting grossly way too big for me (yea!!) so I thought I’d try a different smaller pair, that at one point were wayyyyy too tight (and too disgusting, not to mention uncomfortable) for me to wear in public.  So I put them on and they are falling off my butt! : )  Dieters out there, rejoice with me!  It’s amazing how energetic, healthy, and how much smaller I already am, even after just 17 pounds!  (So that’s the happy part).

As for the sad part, I came home and was looking through pictures of this past Christmas, when my parents were here for a visit.  Every single picture, I look awful.  I remember feeling so extremely exhausted and sick and tired out.  And it all shows in every single picture.  I look like someone who has just let themself go, who just doesn’t care or can’t go on anymore.  It should make me happy that I have made so many positive changes, but I feel a slight sadness for the old me.  I am just so glad I am not like that anymore.  And if anyone out there is feeling that way, I completely understand and am here to talk if you ever need to.  You are not alone.

(Just looking at this picture, I can feel the exhaustion I felt then.  And seriously, look how I let myself go.  This picture is embarrassing, but I am showing it anyway.  I want to show where I started at and how far I’ve come.)

So anyway, those are my two emotions for the day.  Mostly I am happy.  And dancing in my newly falling-off-my-butt jeans!  Woo-hoo!

Back to my lunch story:  While we were eating, the guy who at the Christmas party had commented on Duane looking great and asked me if I considered dieting (when I had been all along), walked in to where we were eating, patted Duane on the back and said, “He is looking so good!”  (Which Duane is…he looks amazing!)  But it was just so funny, I couldn’t even be mad.  A lot of other people notice/comment on my weight loss, but he somehow still thinks I need to start dieting.  Lol.  If he only knew.  I am so damn proud of myself.  The old me would have said something and gotten really upset.  Most women would understand this.  Fortunately, I don’t need other people’s recognition.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome, but inside I know who I am and I know what I am doing.  That’s all that matters.

A few nights ago I had to go on a special assignment for work.  One of the top “people” came with us.  We hadn’t eaten in 10 of our 12 hours and he INSISTED on buying our food.  I knew I needed to eat, but I did NOT want to eat greasy fast food.  He was insistent and pushy and suddenly I knew that if I didn’t eat the food he was buying, it was going to become an issue and may get back to my boss.  No big deal, right?  I had the points for it…hell, I hadn’t eaten all day.  Well…after a cheeseburger and a few hushpuppies, my stomach started to feel a little uneasy. It didn’t even taste as great as I thought it might.  And by the time I got home, I felt downright sick.  And oh, did it last for the past couple of days.  This is so why I don’t eat like that anymore.  I used to feel like that A LOT.  Abdominal pain, nausea, diarrhea….ugh.  Thank goodness I won’t have that type of assignment again.  Hopefully this story will really demonstrate to others why I never feel the need to “cheat” (although when you do WW it’s never really cheating as long as you have the points for it).

On another note, I hit the next lower weight range for WW, so that means giving up 2 more points per day.  So far, it hasn’t been that hard.  I’ll let you know how it works out.  And I am pretty excited…when Duane and I started dieting, we also started getting our finances in order.  We got hit with some pretty big medical bills when we moved here, along with other debts we have, so we have not only resolved to put ourselves through a total body makeover, but also a money makeover as well (we have always been pretty good with money, but we are really tightening the reigns, paying off debt, and planning for our future).  Since we started the diet a little over a month ago, we have paid off over $3800 of debt!!  I am so excited.  And we meet with our financial planner Thursday to roll my 401k over to my new company, make sure we are invested appropriately, and hopefully (finally!) open some Roth IRA’s.  When I called him to set up our appointment, he asked me when I want to retire.  I said, “Um, how about next week?”  Lol…if only!

Here’s to a great week and a goal of losing 8 pounds in the next 3!  : )

Holy crap, holy crap, it happened.

In less than 30 days, I did it. I reached my first major goal, which was to lose 15 pounds by the New Year. And I so did it. And I can’t believe it. I am so glad that we went into this as a “lifestyle change” as opposed to “diet”. I am so amazed - there is just no temptation. I don’t want to eat a dozen cookies or stop at McDonald’s. I relish in the fact that I can actually walk up our stairs and not get out of breath. And I can be awake all day and not get tired doing nothing. All it took to feel that bad was gaining 45 pounds. I can’t imagine having lived any longer at the weight I was or getting heavier. I am so glad I listened to my body when I did. I mean, what 26 year old do you know gets out of breath walking up a freakin’ flight up stairs? And not a big one at that? How embarrassing. And horrible. I am so so glad I made this change!!! I truly believe this is the best gift I could have given myself.

So yesterday I slept in pretty late missing breakfast. I was hungry when I got up and knew we were going out for sushi later that night, so I wanted to eat ASAP so that I would be hungry for it. I fixed myself lunch and as I sat down I thought to myself, “Wow. This is sooo different. I didn’t even think twice about what I made (well, I counted points, but it’s second nature now) and look how great it is.” The old me, less than a month ago, would have started out with a huge tablespoon plunging nonstop into a jar of peanut butter. And then maybe some jelly. And how about a grilled cheese oozing in butter? And a can of tomato soup made not with water or milk - oh no, that wasn’t good enough - but rather, heavy cream. And pop. At least 2. And something chocolate. I mean, what the hell was I thinking? Total path of destruction. I know these posts may seem cheesy to some, but I am just so astonished at how much denial and horrific self destructive behavior I used to be in and how far I’ve come in so little time. The last time we did this (started WW), I hated every minute of it and couldn’t wait to stop. Now, I can’t imagine life any other way.

P.S. I took a picture of my “new way of eating” (if you click on it below, you can see a bigger version).  I actually was so stuffed by the end, I could barely finish it (but did to get my points). I had a salad with mixed greens, red onion, and red wine salad spritzer. I also had a 2 pieces of white bread (because I love it and have to have what I love) toasted with tuna fish, white onions, and 1 1/2 Tbsp lite mayo. I also finished the rest of the tuna and had 10 green olives, along with a diet pepsi. All for a mere 8 points. And to think this was a huge meal for me. Before, I would have kept eating. And I would have never considered eating a salad with lunch. Now, I don’t even think twice about vegetables at almost every meal. I don’t know what I am more happy about, the 15 pound weight loss, or the way I have established a healthier way of living. Eh, I guess I shouldn’t care….now that I think about it, it’s a win-win situation : )

I can’t believe how far I’ve come in such a short time. I completely amazed myself this holiday season. Myself and all of my friends. It feels good to hear, “man, I wish I had your willpower!” I don’t know if I had to hit my rock bottom to be where I am at today, but boy I feel great. And I am damn proud of Duane and I.

It started with my birthday, December 23rd. We got home from shopping and Duane made me stay in our bedroom for a few minutes. I didn’t really get what was going on… I mean, we are married, so there wasn’t a proposal coming. Money’s tight, so I didn’t think some huge gift was coming (which is cool, because if you know me then you know I am a tightwad!)…so I was really curious as to what was about to happen. And as he called my name to come out, the sweetest most thoughtful scene lay before my eyes: the room was completely dark, and there, in 3 mini cupcakes (worth a total of 1 ww point!) were lit candles, along with a 1/2 point fudgesicle cut into pieces. Duane had given me a 1 1/2 point birthday cake and icecream celebration : ) Cheesy to some, but it meant a lot to me knowing how much thought had to go into making something so low in points. And it tasted wonderful, which didn’t hurt either. : )

Fast forward to Christmas (2 days later). We ended up having ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots and dip, a glass of wine, and 1 1/2 crescents each. All made well within our point range for the day. The same thing followed for New Year’s eve. We went over to my friend’s house and took our fair share of food, all well within our point range - shrimp with cocktail sauce, ham rollups, and a huge salad…I even had 2 brownies with cheesecake frosting! Like I said, I don’t know if it’s because I hit my rock bottom of feeling bad and being overweight, but I have no urge to ‘cheat’, I don’t feel deprived, and I want to continue this forever because I simply feel amazing. I do truly believe the day Duane said he couldn’t do it anymore and was going back on WW (which he did NOT even mention/push for me to do it with him - I just knew in my heart I needed to as well) …was the day he saved my life.

This is not to say that there have not been bumps along the way. The first few days of starting WW I felt horrible, probably due to the fact that I ate horribly before and my body was in withdrawal. Also, I first tried giving up pop completely, but found that if you like it as much as I do, the caffeine withdrawal actually makes you sick. So after a few days of adjusting and drinking some diet pop, I got this feeling which is hard to describe. I feel good, great actually, and I know that I never again want to go back to eating the way I used to. I know that eating junk never felt even half as good as taking care of myself and eating the right way do.

Also, it is always hard when Duane and I lose weight, because he loses a TON more than me and people always notice his weight loss and not mine. This time I decided that no matter what, I would not get upset about this and would support and encourage him with all my heart and soul.

However…at his Christmas party it happened. Duane’s coworked said, “Duane looks amazing!” (He kept going on and on, which was fine because Duane does look amazing and I am soooooooooo proud of him.) And then he said the unthinkable: “Are you gonna diet too?” Hmmmph. The old me would have beat the crap out of him. How dare he??!?! At that point in time we had lost the same amount of weight. And I have less to lose, which should have made mine more noticeable.  (Update:  I’ve lost 13 pounds since the 2nd week of December!)

But alas, my new feeling-good-self just smiled and shrugged my shoulders and walked away. I am proud of Duane and proud of myself and don’t need anyone to confirm that or make me feel negative about it in anyway. Wow. Does that mean I have finally grown up?? ; )